Commemorative supplication for both the living and the departed, this Memorial Day weekend.
Memorial Day: A Personal Tribute to the Departed
Every Memorial Day, by the weekend before, my father would adorn our family graves with his unique touch, a tradition steeped in the old Ozark spirit. To him, these weren't mere holidays, but heartfelt reminders of those who came before us.
As a child, my visits to the cemeteries were uneventful, mostly spent seeking shelter under a nearby tree, listening to my father recite the names etched on the gravestones. Few names were familiar to me, save for a couple of grandmothers, the rest were acquaintances from the past.
Regardless, Memorial Day was the kickoff of a brand new year for my father, Carl McCoy. The year concluded with a family gathering, followed by the start of summer, with its carefree days, fishing trips, and luscious homegrown tomatoes by the Fourth of July.
His preparations for Decoration Day were thorough. Perhaps it was due to the many family men who served in the military, or his sailor days on the battleship Pennsylvania during World War II. Or maybe it was simply a heartfelt way to remember and pay tribute to our ancestors without the need for church services. Whatever the reason, he was ardent about honoring our departed relatives in his own, unpretentious manner.
Remembering the Deceased in His Way
He would gather empty coffee tins throughout the year, painting them bold red or blue before Memorial Day. The flowers thrived from his yard or those he kindly borrowed from friends and neighbors. No preference for a specific bloom, but peonies, hydrangeas, and asters graced the cans most often.
I recall no particular flowers he favored, but a mix of peonies, hydrangeas, and asters usually found their way into the containers. After adding a bit of water, he would arrange the blooms and store them in the car for the journey to the cemeteries. We visited Osborne Memorial Cemetery and Forest Park in Joplin, Missouri, both places with strong sentimental value.
Osborne Cemetery, built in the 1930s, boasted extensive greenery, picturesque hills, and a surrounding stone wall. Burial sites of grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and even my mother, who died from cancer and then joined the rest, could be found there.
Reminiscing at Osborne, we often held impromptu family reunions. Sitting at the graveside, we shared tales of the past, exchanging stories of both joy and sorrow, with hints of long-held regrets and unresolved resentments.
At Forest Park, the graves marked our father's ancestors, located in the old section dating back to the 1870s. The semi-wooded cemetery held a unique charm-my father would trim the weeds around the graves but let the wild strawberries grow on Sgt. William J. Leffew's grave, an old family friend from the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
By 1997, my father followed his loved ones to Osborne Memorial Cemetery, leaving behind a small yet impactful American flag on Memorial Day.
His untimely aneurysm left a deep void. I arrived at the hospital, only to find him unconscious, the doctors unable to do anything to save him. His death didn't seem like the end of a chapter but an unexpected continuation of a life story I couldn't fully comprehend.
Time heals, but some scars never fade. Phil, a fellow author, and journalist, became my closest friend, sharing many interests. Although he succumbed to colon cancer three months after diagnosis, his courage, humor, and acceptance of his fate remained an inspiration.
My brother's death was different. His loss from a heart attack left a stone in my ribs. I harbor no fear of my own demise but am terrified of losing those I hold dear.
Memorial Day commemorates our war heroes but is more than just a tribute to military service. It serves as a somber reminder of the sacrifices made in the name of duty, peace, and freedom. Our monuments, cemeteries, and songs of remembrance are more than symbols of glory; they stand as reminders of the complexities of human existence and the inevitable cycle of life and death.
This Memorial Day, join me in honoring our fallen heroes, their sacrifices echoing a memory that transcends time. But also remember the living-share in their stories, celebrate their existence, and learn from their wisdom. For life is a tapestry woven with threads of joy and sorrow, love and loss. And let us always remember to offer a simple act of remembrance, whether it's just a painted coffee can filled with borrowed flowers.
Published: 27th May 2024
Additional Reads:
Johnny Wactor, beloved American actor, shot dead in Los AngelesArgentina scoring spree propels them to another Messi-powered victory over CuracaoLSU claim historic NCAA women's basketball championship in thrilling win over Iowa
In the realm of health-and-wellness, mental health plays a crucial role
Grieving can have profound impacts on mental health, as seen after losing both my father and brother
Building strong relationships with loved ones can provide support during difficult times, serving as a reminder of the importance of both personal and family dynamics in maintaining overall health and wellness
