Discussing a Grandparent's Forgotten Memories with Children: Guidelines for Parents
In a beautiful world, many kids are lucky enough to establish deep bonds with their grandparents or great-grandparents, gaining life-long insights that broaden perspectives on the human experience. But, let's face it, sometimes things aren't always as straightforward as they seem.
Kids may understand that people grow older, but it's jarring for them when their dear grandparent, who appears healthy, suddenly forgets their name or doesn't recognize them. This can be brutally hard on families, and it's especially tough on little ones when a grandparent is diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease or dementia. Navigating this rollercoaster can be challenging, but it's essential to talk to children about their grandparent's memory loss.
Should we inform the kids about their grandparent's dementia?
Hell yeah! Honesty is the best policy, especially when it comes to complex diseases like dementia. Though it's instinctive to shield kids from difficult truths, being open and honest from the get-go is absolutely crucial. Explain dementia using words and concepts that are appropriate for their age and understanding level. Help them comprehend the changes they might witness as time goes by and emphasize their vital role in this journey.
As dementia progresses, symptoms can become more apparent, causing the child to potentially mourn for the grandparent they once knew. Parents may spend more time with the grandparent, triggering feelings of resentment in the child if they're kept in the dark. Communication is key!
Kids may also get agitated when their grandparent asks the same question repeatedly or feel self-conscious or fearful if they witness odd behavior in front of others. It's essential to have the conversation before the older person's symptoms worsen to help them cope.
How to break the ice about a grandparent's dementia to children
Here are some tips to make the conversation easier:
Be straightforward and concise
Lying to the kids might seem like the easiest way out initially, but it won't last as dementia progresses. Speak openly and honestly about dementia, explaining the condition in simple terms, the impact on their grandparent, and the potential effect on the family. Make it clear this journey isn't a solo ride and encourage them to support their grandparent.
Older kids might appreciate more detailed information about how dementia affects the brain, why their grandparent's behavior may change, and the fact that although the condition can be slowed, it's not curable.
Encourage conversation and empathy
Make sure to give children space to express their feelings, ask questions, and voice their concerns. Be patient, listen actively, and be prepared for some vulnerable moments. Some kids, particularly teenagers, may prefer to discuss with friends or trusted adults outside the immediate family. As long as they're speaking up and not bottling things up, that's what matters most.
Help them understand that their grandparent is still there
It's crucial to let them know their grandparent doesn't change because of their behavior and that deep down, they still love their grandchild. Remind the child of their grandparent's importance to your family and focus on the positive things they can still do together.
Kids may be sad about not being able to participate in the activities they enjoyed with their grandparent. Shift the focus on the things they can still enjoy, such as watching a movie, listening to music, reminiscing about the good old days, and chatting about their daily adventures.
Being honest with your kids about dementia is terrifying, but it doesn't have to be. Kids are often more resilient than we give them credit for and may even embrace the opportunity to be part of the support team.
Tips for the kids when visiting a grandparent with dementia
Although they understand dementia, they might still hesitate to visit, worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. Here are some tips for them to have a wonderful, memorable visit:
- Understand that it's not their fault if their grandparent doesn't remember their name, even if they acknowledge other people.
- Whenever they enter the room, remind their grandparent who they are, for instance, “Hi Grandma, I’m Sally, your oldest granddaughter.”
- Avoid correcting or showing frustration if they make a mistake. Use non-verbal communication, such as hand-holding or hugs, to express love and support.
- Bring along photos and videos to reminisce and share laughs.
- Be patient, keep things cheerful, and follow your parents' lead when responding or dealing with certain situations.
Hey, remember that eldercare team at our website? They're experts in helping families navigate the challenges of being a parent and caregiver to a loved one with dementia. They offer professional, in-home eldercare services, including:
- Alzheimer's disease and dementia care
- Personal care
- Senior-friendly housekeeping
That's not all! Their ultimate goal is to bring peace of mind to the entire family. If you're looking for friendly, reliable eldercare support, reach out to them today for a free, no-obligation discussion. They've got your back!
- In the face of a grandparent's dementia diagnosis, it's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with children, using language appropriate for their age.
- Encourage children to participate in their grandparent's journey, explaining the impact of dementia on their behavior and the importance of their support.
- To help children cope, remind them that their grandparent still loves them, focusing on shared memories and activities they can still enjoy together.
- When visiting a grandparent with dementia, children can bring photos and videos to reminisce, and avoid showing frustration over memory lapses.
- For families navigating dementia care, professional services like Alzheimer's disease and dementia care, personal care, and senior-friendly housekeeping are available through eldercare teams, providing peace of mind and reliable support.
