Mourning the Departure of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Deal with Grief
Losing a mother can be a profound and life-altering experience. It means losing an important part of your support system, and for some, it may also mean the loss of cherished family traditions and cultural knowledge.
According to various studies, women who experience the loss of a mother are more likely to struggle with binge drinking, a decline in self-esteem, and a lower level of personal mastery (personal growth) compared to men. This is not to say that men are immune to these challenges, but rather that the impact can be particularly significant for women.
The grief experienced after such a loss can lead to a compromised sense of self and even depression in young adults, as suggested by a 2021 study. It's essential to remember that everyone's experience with grief is unique, and what one person may feel, another may not.
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) lists a variety of normal emotions in the year following parental loss, including regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. It's crucial to acknowledge these feelings and allow oneself to process them.
Managing painful memories related to a mother's loss can be challenging, but mindfulness—the ability to focus on the moment and not follow thoughts down an emotional path—can be helpful. Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during this difficult time.
Offering maternal support to others who have experienced parental loss can also be a way to help them in their grief journey. This support can come from various figures in one's life, not just blood relatives.
If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, speaking with a mental health professional may be beneficial. Local support groups, online chat forums, and the American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can assist in navigating the grieving process.
Honoring a mother's memory can be a personal and meaningful way to cope with loss. This could involve donating to her favourite charity, achieving a goal she always wanted, or other significant actions.
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