Support for Male Victims of Domestic Abuse: Guide and Resources
In the face of domestic violence, it is crucial for victims, particularly men, to reach out for help and support. The first step in protecting oneself is to confide in a trusted person or contact a domestic violence helpline.
Dealing with an abusive partner can be challenging, and it's essential to prioritise safety. Leaving an abusive relationship is often necessary, but one should never retaliate. In case of emergency, calling the emergency services is vital.
Domestic violence isn't limited to heterosexual relationships and affects men in both heterosexual and same-sex partnerships. Non-violent forms of abuse include emotional and verbal abuse, possessiveness, harassment, financial control, manipulation, and threats to reveal one's sexual orientation or gender identity.
Figures suggest that as many as one in three victims of domestic violence are male. Leaving an abusive relationship can be difficult due to various reasons such as shame, religious beliefs, lack of resources, fear of being outed, concern for children, concern for pets, and fear of retaliation.
For men experiencing domestic violence, it's important to keep a journal of all abuse incidents, including dates, times, and any witnesses, and include a photographic record of injuries. Evidence of the abuse, such as copies of police reports, should be obtained and kept close at hand.
Men can seek support from family and friends, counseling, therapy, and support groups for domestic abuse survivors to help them move on from an abusive relationship. If you're gay, bisexual, or transgender, specific organisations such as The Network/La Red and Galop offer support and advice.
If you're reluctant to report abuse due to embarrassment, fear of disbelief, or fear of retaliation, it's important to rely on resources that your abusive partner cannot access. This includes using a computer outside of the home, keeping money in a separate account, and making calls from a friend's phone.
Men can call a domestic abuse hotline to help find local resources and brainstorm a safety plan for their specific situation. When leaving an abusive relationship, men should choose a safe moment to leave and avoid physically engaging with their abusive partner.
Shelters that are inclusive of all gender identities can be searched for as a potential escape option. If you specify your exact location, more precise local resources can be provided. Many services emphasise confidentiality, safety planning, and tailored counselling for men.
In Australia, local support services for men experiencing domestic violence provide phone and mobile contact options, counselling, wellbeing resources, and weekly support groups. In the United States, the Center for Family Justice offers 24/7 crisis support, individual counselling, safety planning, support groups, and court advocacy. The National Domestic Violence Hotline serves all impacted by relationship abuse confidentially 24/7.
Resources for abused men may be limited, and there may be a lack of understanding from friends and family. However, it's important to remember that help is available, and seeking support is a crucial step towards escaping an abusive relationship and rebuilding a life free from violence.
[1] mensline.org.au [2] centerforfamilyjustice.org [3] thehotline.org [4] nnedv.org [5] thehotline.org/resources/shelters-and-safe-housing/shelters-for-men-and-boys/
- In addition to seeking help from family and friends, men experiencing domestic violence can also find support through mental health therapies and treatments, as well as health-and-wellness programs designed to promote overall well-being and stress management.
- Beyond shelters, there are various science-based therapies and treatments available, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which can provide victims of domestic violence, including men, with useful coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills.
